Last weekend Shumba and I went to the Gorge for an afternoon. We saw every kind of weather imaginable. Sunny blue skies, cloudy gray skies, hail, rain, mist, sprinkling, downpour; we saw it all. All together I counted twenty three waterfalls although I'm sure if I hadn't of been driving, I would have spotted more. As we approached Multnomah Falls there were park rangers everywhere; the north parking lot having to be closed because it was completely flooded. As Shumba and I approached on foot I found myself in shock again, the waterfall was wider and more forceful than I had ever seen it. At the bottom you couldn't even see the pool because the water was coming down so hard and quickly that it all just splashed right up to the lookout point. People stood back fifteen, twenty, thirty feet and watched from afar, stunned. Shumba and I on the other hand, marched right up the railing and were sprayed from head to toe. We stood there for a few minutes, I'm sure people behind us thinking we were crazy, I'm sure Shumba winking and blinking and squinting as he usually does when it's raining out., but I found myself absolutely enthralled. I closed my eyes and I tilted my face toward the water and I relished in the feeling of something so grand, so beautiful, so alive touching me. I felt in that moment, part of the world. Alive, a kink in the wheel of this big crazy world and I felt connected to the Earth in a way that I seldom do in my day to day life. As we walked back to the car water ran down the front of my raincoat and dripped down the tip of my nose. Thank goodness for waterproof mascara or I would have looked like a raccoon walking a dog on a leash. We made several more stops along the way and although they are views I've seen and roads I've driven and trails I've hiked a million times over, I wasn't ceased to be amazed yet again by all of their stunning beauty. All around us yellowed fields and brush of the most stunning auburn color, barren gray-green trees and my dreams hanging thick in the air above us with the clouds. It was a magnificent, many magnificent, sights to behold.
On Thursday I don't go into work until one thirty in the afternoon. Although I like to bitch and moan with the best of them about having to work until ten thirty at night, I relish my lazy Thursday mornings. I always make a french press, today an African blend, my favorite, and have a good breakfast. I'm out of bread for toast so today I am eating a blood orange for breakfast. It's the deepest reddish purple color with tiny tips of orange on one end and after having peeled it, my fingertips are stained pink. I was out of cream this morning and don't normally drink milk or keep it on hand, so today two giant dollops of ice cream went into my coffee. It's quiet in my house, just the sound of my little red dog slowly taking in and out the breath of the world and I feel at peace. As much as I love my job and spending time with my friends and family, I absolutely adore mornings like this and afternoons in the Gorge like Shumba and I got to experience the other day. I love when I have time to think about things other than what needs to be done in that moment and the ones coming soon after. I love when I can contemplate silly things like the weather and how it makes me feel, when I have time to stand in my kitchen and look out the window for as many minutes as I want in absolute silence and take in the beauty of the naked trees and the grey skies and the world at its barest before me. There's grace to be found here.
I have not in the past been one who is good at... being still. I would die a quick death at any job that required me to sit at a desk and on my days off from work have typically been someone who is up and showered early, ready to tackle a list of errands or social outings or cleaning or whatever. Part of my taking a job with New Seasons was not only for new career opportunities, but for a complete change in lifestyle. I was going 24-7 at Starbucks and worked insanely long hours. I usually had split days off and I was always exhausted from the strange hours I worked. I was cranky and testy and a bad partner and I made a commitment to myself when starting this new job, that I would demand of myself an honoring of work-life balance. And for the most part I feel like I have done well. At least three weeks out of the month I have two days off in a row, usually the days I want, Sunday and Monday. I rarely work more than my scheduled forty five hours each week, and I am not constantly exhausted. On my days off I try to spend at least one of them relaxing and yes, being lazy. I try to stay in my pajamas for a few hours or half a day or a few times, even a whole day (!), and just be. I have my occasional moments of stress, of frustration, of exhaustion, and of depression when I let the world get me down, but overall, I find that I am feeling much healthier in body and calmer in mind and spirit than I did at this time a year ago or two years ago. This new job is treating me well and I feel beyond blessed to have a work for a place that not only allows me to, but encourages me, to have a meaningful life outside of it's four walls; a job that allows me an income enough to have a car to escape the busy city life for a few hours on the weekend to commune with nature; a job that affords me a computer to type my thoughts away, that allows me to put blood oranges and other healthy food I might not normally be able to afford or have such easy access to, into my body.
Today Shumba and I will go for a big Thursday walk as we call them, much longer than our usual route and he will come home panting, out of breath, and high on having had the opportunity to really stretch his little furry red limbs. I will feel refreshed by the blessing of his company in my life and by the glory of this great big beautiful cloudy gray world around me and I will sing with Ray LaMontagne all the way to work. When I get there I will give away smiles to my employees and coworkers like they are candy and hope that in their reception people feel love. And I will look forward to my weekend and to my next Thursday morning where I will be fortunate enough to have the time again to stop and watch and feel and listen to and smell and taste all that the world has to offer. May all those of us who are privileged enough to be regularly given the blessings of peace and quiet and time for reflection and communion with nature, not let those our world who don't share in this great fortune, slip from our hearts and minds and may we remember, in all the many quiet and gray winter moments that surround us, to stop for a moment here and there to thank the Universe for blessing us with all the riches that the beautiful natural world and our glorious lives have to offer.
Namaste.
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