It's four 4:51am...
...I like it this time of day; it makes me feel like I have a secret place I go to while the rest of the world sleeps. I like that it's quiet and calm and there is enough space to be in the world, and think about being in the world at the same time without having to just go, go go. I like to walk the dog just before dusk when the world is coming alive and drink coffee out of a mug while I stroll.
...One of my employees texted me a stupid question at 4:10am this morning. I would like to fire her for having this little consideration for me and my work-life balance.
... Fall is my favorite season. It feels the most like home and makes me want to sit in front of a fire all bundled up and eat tomato soup and grilled cheese all day. It also makes me miss home and important people most dearly and makes me want to go back in time.
...I've been reading an exceptional amount lately. I think my brain is craving some sort of intellectual activity other than that I partake in at work. I count the days until payday each week so that I can buy a new book. Two more days...
...My friend is a stay at home mom. She has a blog about her life with the kid and husband and dog and it bursts at the seams with love and happiness and contentment. Growing up, I always thought my life at 29 would be exactly what hers is and today, it seems a world away. I can't begin to understand what it must be like live in her shoes and I often feel like we are living on completely different planets. I think she is really living... and I am just surviving.
...My life's secret dreams: to paint a mural on the side of a building; to be a documentary filmmaker; to have a giant tree surrounded by birds tattooed up my side; to ride a tandem bicycle from Canada to Mexico or from Portland, OR to Portland, ME; to own a bakery or cafe called Quaint with my best pal; to be in the roller derby and wear fishnets; to be a published author; to wake up and know how to play the guitar without having to actually have to learn how to do this; to have my own line of stationary; to live in a fully restored craftsman bungalow; to be able to finish the Times crossword puzzle on Sunday; to not be so thoroughly exhausted all of the time that I can do something about making even one of these dreams a reality...
...Sometimes I think I need to get my head out of the clouds and face reality. Often times I think I would be happier if I let my head spend more time in the clouds.
...I know that I am better than my job. That I am not entirely capable of all it entails, and yet entirely capable of so much more. I wish my customers, employees... and the rest of the world did too.
...I just bought the most delicious loose-leaf earl grey tea from New Seasons. Last night for dinner I had two mug-fulls with honey and I'm craving more right now.
...It's 5:06am... on my day off... and I've been up for several hours now. Sometimes I wonder what it's like to not live with constant, sleep-denying anxiety.
... I am coveting a fancy pair of ladies outdoor roller skates. I desperately want to be that crazy lady in St. Johns who people see cruising around town on her flashy skates and laugh at. I think in a few months, you would be able to bounce a coin off my ass if I made this dream into a reality.
...but then again, let's be honest; I was never one who was too concerned about the state of my glutes.
...Shumba is snoring loudly right now. Sometimes when he is curled up in his little bed I wish it were bigger and I could crawl in with him. Sometimes I just lay on the floor next to him and rub his belly and he purrs like a cat.
...If I could go away to seminary tomorrow and be ordained in not too many years from now, I would do it in a heartbeat. I am excited beyond belief to get this chapter of my life started, and saddened beyond words because it means not knowing if or when I might ever return to Oregon again. I don't think any place will ever feel truly like home to me. I love it here.
...I don't dream about fancy clothes or red-soled heels; I dream about having a pair of Jack Purcells' in every color of the rainbow. This would equal happy happy, joy joy.
...I'm a much better friend than I am family member. This keeps me up at night.
...Golf is a game, not a sport and mushrooms are a fungi, not a food.
...I'm actually feeling like visitng with that big gray box in the living room now. I wonder if Project Runway is on...
...I like it this time of day; it makes me feel like I have a secret place I go to while the rest of the world sleeps. I like that it's quiet and calm and there is enough space to be in the world, and think about being in the world at the same time without having to just go, go go. I like to walk the dog just before dusk when the world is coming alive and drink coffee out of a mug while I stroll.
...One of my employees texted me a stupid question at 4:10am this morning. I would like to fire her for having this little consideration for me and my work-life balance.
... Fall is my favorite season. It feels the most like home and makes me want to sit in front of a fire all bundled up and eat tomato soup and grilled cheese all day. It also makes me miss home and important people most dearly and makes me want to go back in time.
...I've been reading an exceptional amount lately. I think my brain is craving some sort of intellectual activity other than that I partake in at work. I count the days until payday each week so that I can buy a new book. Two more days...
...My friend is a stay at home mom. She has a blog about her life with the kid and husband and dog and it bursts at the seams with love and happiness and contentment. Growing up, I always thought my life at 29 would be exactly what hers is and today, it seems a world away. I can't begin to understand what it must be like live in her shoes and I often feel like we are living on completely different planets. I think she is really living... and I am just surviving.
...My life's secret dreams: to paint a mural on the side of a building; to be a documentary filmmaker; to have a giant tree surrounded by birds tattooed up my side; to ride a tandem bicycle from Canada to Mexico or from Portland, OR to Portland, ME; to own a bakery or cafe called Quaint with my best pal; to be in the roller derby and wear fishnets; to be a published author; to wake up and know how to play the guitar without having to actually have to learn how to do this; to have my own line of stationary; to live in a fully restored craftsman bungalow; to be able to finish the Times crossword puzzle on Sunday; to not be so thoroughly exhausted all of the time that I can do something about making even one of these dreams a reality...
...Sometimes I think I need to get my head out of the clouds and face reality. Often times I think I would be happier if I let my head spend more time in the clouds.
...I know that I am better than my job. That I am not entirely capable of all it entails, and yet entirely capable of so much more. I wish my customers, employees... and the rest of the world did too.
...I just bought the most delicious loose-leaf earl grey tea from New Seasons. Last night for dinner I had two mug-fulls with honey and I'm craving more right now.
...It's 5:06am... on my day off... and I've been up for several hours now. Sometimes I wonder what it's like to not live with constant, sleep-denying anxiety.
... I am coveting a fancy pair of ladies outdoor roller skates. I desperately want to be that crazy lady in St. Johns who people see cruising around town on her flashy skates and laugh at. I think in a few months, you would be able to bounce a coin off my ass if I made this dream into a reality.
...but then again, let's be honest; I was never one who was too concerned about the state of my glutes.
...Shumba is snoring loudly right now. Sometimes when he is curled up in his little bed I wish it were bigger and I could crawl in with him. Sometimes I just lay on the floor next to him and rub his belly and he purrs like a cat.
...If I could go away to seminary tomorrow and be ordained in not too many years from now, I would do it in a heartbeat. I am excited beyond belief to get this chapter of my life started, and saddened beyond words because it means not knowing if or when I might ever return to Oregon again. I don't think any place will ever feel truly like home to me. I love it here.
...I don't dream about fancy clothes or red-soled heels; I dream about having a pair of Jack Purcells' in every color of the rainbow. This would equal happy happy, joy joy.
...I'm a much better friend than I am family member. This keeps me up at night.
...Golf is a game, not a sport and mushrooms are a fungi, not a food.
...I'm actually feeling like visitng with that big gray box in the living room now. I wonder if Project Runway is on...
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